18.

A few hours left before my 18th birthday ends.

I’m getting mixed feelings about this. Above all, I am eternally grateful for everything that’s happened in my eighteen years of living. Of course I don’t have 100% vivid memories of when I was a little girl donning my favourite green dress, perfected with my mum’s scarf  because I have always been one shameless enough to borrow her things. Nonetheless, I do remember that one time when I was around 3 years old and woke up with my disheveled hair, red-nosed, half-asleep, briskly going outside to ride my toy horse. I still have the picture and it honestly provides a good laugh. And I do remember when I was stubborn enough to ride my three-wheeler even when my mum told me not to and broke my left arm as the repercussion. Also when I photobombed my grandma’s picture by dancing in front of her and blocked her face with my hand. Yep, I have always loved being the center of attention.

I am constantly thankful that I’m still breathing to celebrate my 18th year of being alive. Some people don’t get their chance. Some people aren’t fortunate to be with their loved ones on their special day. Thinking about this, I realised that I should never take anything for granted; my beautiful family, my wonderful friends and everyone that I’ve encountered in my life. They’re a part of my story and without them, my pages wouldn’t be filled with picturesque colours.

Growing up is tough but it’s a process where we will learn to find who we are. I have faced my ups and downs – moments of good, long laughter and also tears-shedding that made me feel like giving up on everything – but all of these have taught me a lot about myself; my strong points, my flaws and my weaknesses.

“I hope you won’t ever change.” This is one of the nicest, most heart-warming compliments I have ever gotten and it truly makes me think. I’m growing up – second by second, minute by minute, day by day – but frankly, I don’t want that growing-up thing to change me. Yes, people change and that’s a compulsory matter in our lives, but I don’t want to change into somebody that would be irksome to meet. If I changed for the better, it would be amazing but if it was vice versa, I hope to God it would never happen.

If you are a part of my life, even for just a year or five years or more than 10 years, thank you. I appreciate your presence in every way. For sticking with me through my worst times, thank you. For being there during my good ones, thank you. If you always make me laugh and smile until my cheeks hurt and my stomach feels like exploding (sounds gross because I have been eating so much, but well), thank you and I hope your life will be filled with such rejoice and euphoria too. If you hurt me or have ever made me feel unneeded, thank you as well. You might have left me a painful scar, but without that scar, I wouldn’t know what it really takes for me to heal. I value each and every one of you. I value you for teaching me a lot about life, for helping me to know where I stand, for keeping my feet on the ground, for teaching me to put my head up when I have spent a long time keeping it down, for teaching me to let go, for keeping me grounded, for letting me discover who I really am and for coming into my life in spite of the duration, your intention or what you did during your presence.

There will be a time when we separate to our own ways, but I hope and pray that somehow our paths will cross again. And I pray that you don’t happen to be just a tangent line in my life, where we meet at one point and drift apart forever. And if you are destined to be one, I wish you all the best no matter where you go and what you pursue in life.

Life has taught me a lot of things. One of the lessons is to cherish everyone while you still can.

Have a beautiful day. I definitely did have a spectacular birthday. If your day isn’t going too well, just remember that there are a lot of beautiful things to focus on in this life – and one of them happens to be you.

 

 

 

 

 

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